| | You know, I'm reading through some other med student/medical blog sites
(www.lingualnerve.com being the one that convinced me it was a good
idea to start writing in the first place) and it's funny, there are
some consistent themes.
Endless studying. You'll never know what it's like to be
here. Difficult. No time for friends. No time for
family. Eating badly. Not enough sleep. Not enough
exercise. Swamped. No time to go to class.
Then, I look at doctor blogs. One entry that stands out in
particular from Lingual Nerve is spacefan's recent entry, where she
(the older, wiser doctor) laughs at the idealistic premeds (i.e. me a
year ago) for actually wanting to help people. Bitter.
Cynical.
Anyway. I see a lot of what I've been writing about
mirrored in other people's writings. I know I've been focusing on
the burnout, and the difficulties. I'm not really sure why,
either. Day in, day out, I'm totally happy to be here. I
love studying. I love the material. I learn something
(many things!) daily that amaze me. That being said, when I come
home at 11, I'm tired, and that
is when this blog gets updated. I'll try to remind myself to post
positives here. Frankly, I'm surprised I don't more often.
So, I guess this is my pre-finals apology to myself, and to my readers
(whoever you may be... drop me an email sometime if you care!) for
sounding as negative as I do. Maybe subconsciously I'm looking
for sympathy, or acceptance, or appreciation. I hope that's not
why I'm writing all this. I'd like to think it's because there is
an awful lot of introspection and constant new new new that's being
thrown at me, and I need an outlet.
By the way. I got to practice laparoscopic surgery on the ASTEC
simulator (UA has an incredible surgery simulation suite, including a
full out patient model with pulses, full bladders (that's right, I put
in a Foley Catheter, wincing all the while) blood supply, full windpipe
(with constricting vocal cords
so you might need to do an emergency cricothyroidotomy in case the tube
fails!) and full eye movements including pupillary dilation and
constriction). It... was awesome.
And, laparoscopic surgery is kind of like video games. Which is
sweet. And with my past history of constant video gaming
action... well, lets just say I'm not ruling anything out.
Anywho, that's what I've got to say for right now. I feel pretty
confident going into my exams, I've still got 4 days to study anything
I missed, and frankly, I love where I am in my life. Note to
self. Be positive in entries... because I always am during most
of the day.
Oh. Quick note on the "no time for class" thing I mentioned
above. Several of my colleagues (first time I've ever used THAT
word) have just blatantly stopped going to class. They feel so
overwhelmed by the amount of material to learn that they just... stop
going. Class isn't the "best use of your time" because you can
get more done in an hour of studying than an hour of lecture. I,
personally, think that sucks. Class for me is social. 8-3
class on Wednesdays means a 10-minute break at 9,10,11, and 2, plus an
hour and 10 minute lunch. That's roughly 2 solid hours of time I
get to spend with my friends. Don't really know where I'm going
with this other than to say to you, my long-lost classmates: I
miss you. Come back to us. We're a rather fun bunch if you
just spent the time to hang out with us. Books can be lonely by
themselves.
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| | Posted 12/8/2005 2:18 AM - 10 Views - 2 eProps - 1 Comment
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